and also this:  Wild Child mp3 W.A.S.P. The Last Command buy it

Seeing as all my recent search phrases are for “naughty christmas songs” ok, ok, I concede.  But I want all you “normal” people out there to know that the hordes have been begging for it and just because I happen to have it doesn’t mean I usually listen to it. Well, 11 months [...]]]>

Seeing as all my recent search phrases are for “naughty christmas songs” ok, ok, I concede.  But I want all you “normal” people out there to know that the hordes have been begging for it and just because I happen to have it doesn’t mean I usually listen to it. Well, 11 months out of the year I don’t.

First up, we might as well start out with the worst. From an album that can only be described as mentally unstable, bordering on either complete madness or juvenile delinquency. It’s titled Stocking Stuffher. Thank god wikipedia has an entry on the band, killwhitneydead, for even though I’m a dilettante metal fan, I’d have never sussed this one.

The are characterized by their mixture of blast beats, traditional metal riffs, hardcore style guitars, death metal singing, and some trace elements of power metal. All of their songs include at least one audio sample (usually from a popular movie or television show).

Uh, I gave you the least offensive track, you can thank me in the comments. Give it a try, you might be surprised!

Let Me Give You A Hand Stuffing Your Stocking mp3 killwhitneydead Stocking Stuffher MySpace

BB King always satisfies my need to get dirty and he does not fail come Christmas time. “Back Door Santa” is not only a cute take on the Christmas theme, it’s a rockin Blues number too, authentic in every way and from one of our last living legends in the industry.

Back Door Santa mp3 B.B. King buy Christmas Celebration of Hope

And no post on naughty Christmas songs would be complete with the infamous morning DJ/parody songwriter, Bob Rivers. This man is a Christmas institution onto himself. To the tune of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” we have…

Walkin Round in Women’s Underwear mp3 Bob Rivers buy I Am Santa

and who can forget Bruce Springsteen’s terrific version of “Santa Claus is Comin to Town”? Well Bob gives us this sexed up take on it, all raspy and hawt…

Santa Claus is Foolin Around mp3 Bob Rivers buy Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire

One last note: if you’re just here to pick up some trashy mp3s for your Christmas party mix, so be it. But I do hope that perhaps you might stick around and also give a listen to a real band or two. There’s plenty of hard working, honest to god talented musicians here who pour their heart and soul into writing and performing. Listen to a track or three of something you’ve not heard of before, that’s what music blogs are for! Then go out and buy their CD or go to a gig. I’ve learned a lot this year by doing that, and I have to say it’s made me a better music lover, a better member of the music buying public and yeah even a better person. Thanks for stopping by today! xoxoxo

ok, one more note: that’s Bettie Page up there in the Christmas picture, she died Thursday night at age 85 and was the original pin up girl, an inspiration to many of us curvy chicks, and one that never believed that nudity was shameful. R.I.P. Bettie, we’ll always love you!

Rol, at Sunset Over Slawit posted last week about a book that is going right on my xmas list this year, Chuck Klosterman’s Fargo Rock City. One question that Rol takes from the book, is the mystery of why some girls (and women) actually like metal, or more specifically what Rol calls “glam [...]]]>

Rol, at Sunset Over Slawit posted last week about a book that is going right on my xmas list this year, Chuck Klosterman’s Fargo Rock City. One question that Rol takes from the book, is the mystery of why some girls (and women) actually like metal, or more specifically what Rol calls “glam metal” such as KISS, Poison, Thin Lizzy, Bon Jovi, etc… and I stumbled into the middle of a conversation on whether or not a particular Whitesnake video with a hot female model “having sex with a car” (as Rol describes) was sexist or not. Go see it here. I replied that some of us girls wanted to be the girl on the car, some of us wanted to have the girl on the car, and more importantly some of us knew exactly how to get the metalmen, namely by liking the music they liked regardless of the videos. So, sexist or not, we didn’t really care. Scheming bitches aren’t we?! Oh and thanks Rol, for a really thought provoking post! I’m not criticizing it in any way hun!

But seriously, what’s so mysterious about metal? Or about any genre for that matter? Why divide the world so neatly so that The Carpenters are girly and Ozzy’s for the boys? I admit, I started out listening to metal to piss off my parents like all you guys did :p Yeah, it worked for me too. Punk worked even better, I just couldn’t do the satanic head trip on my poor christian mother that metal afforded me!

Now, this got me thinking, why have all the people in my life, who knew anything at all about music, been men? It’s not just that certain genres of music are roped off for women, even musical knowledge is considered “a manly sport.” Yeah, I know I lost some of ya there. You can smell a feminist rant coming, right? I’ll try and take it easy on ya, I promise I won’t go all Camille Paglia here. Just tell me when’s the last time you had a real conversation about a band — not a song, with a woman? When you go to gigs, look around? I was seriously the only woman at the Duke Spirit show the other week not wearing makeup and a low-cut fashionable blouse/dress, and I was one of maybe 5 single women there (probably the only one who wasn’t “working” that night, lol!). Yeah, I’m odd that way sometimes, but this was a pretty scuzzy venue. I was there for the music (not that they weren’t, of course, of course).

There’s an ad in my local coffeehouse for an all women punk rock collective, they do gigs that spotlight local women’s music. I usually avoid that crap like the plague. Maybe I just spent too many years in the dyke community, it was a fine place to visit but nobody wants to live in the ghetto, ya know? And yes, I understand that women don’t have as much money to spend on entertainment as men, that women don’t want to play by the rules of “the system” or “the man” etc… I got it. But I also see how “the industry” funnels us band after band that sounds the same, that has no female voices in the foreground and that sucks too, cause damn I love me some girly punk. Most of all, (and this is what was missing from the whole riot grrl phenomenon, in my memory) I love to see women having FUN with music and FUN with sexuality in music, for a change. Maybe I’ll surprise you with a review of that local collective thing one day, who knows?

Blender mp3 Amy Ray from Prom commentary on the industry
Buy it

More Rock More Talk mp3 The Butchies from Population 1975 Amy’s queercore backup band for her first two solo projects, and an entity onto themselves, also known as Team Dresch
Buy it

I like Fucking mp3 Bikini Kill from The Singles great song, but honest to god, this doesn’t sound like a woman who likes to fuck!
Buy it

Slide mp3 L7 from Bricks are Heavy: not a happy camper either
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O Bondage, Up Yours! X-Ray Spex from: The Rolling Stone Women In Rock Collection [Disc 2] mp3 * now there’s a reason this is my all time favorite girly punk song! I’m just so unevolved xoxox
Buy it

*also available on Germ Free Adolescence (2005) expanded version